Desperate Life and none the others

What Real-Life Desperate Housewives Really Want for Valentine’s Day

Forget the Roses and Chocolates

Have you ever asked your wife, “What did you do all day?” only to be greeted by seething anger as she scrapes baby spit-up off her shirt? Or have you wondered why she seems jealous that you “get to” drive alone to work, while she listens to “Elmo’s Low-Down Showdown” in a mini-van full of screaming pre-schoolers?

Author and stay-at-home mom Jen Singer, whose award-winning web site MommaSaid.net reaches thousands of mothers worldwide, can explain: “If the only way you could get a moment’s peace at your job were to hide in the bathroom – while someone knocked on the door – you’d understand why your wife seems so frazzled.”

What do today’s at-home moms really want? Singer, whose new book, 14 Hours ‘Til Bedtime: A Stay-at-Home Mom’s Life in 27 Funny Little Stories provides the real deal about today’s housewives, says:

1. Sleep: If sleep is the new sex, then at-home moms – who have both the day AND the night shift – probably think of sleep every five minutes. Singer’s gift tip: Give her homemade coupons for a full night of uninterrupted sleep.

Time off for good behavior: In a 24/7 job with no vacation days or sick days, sometimes Mommy needs to wander the mall alone, mumbling to herself. Singer’s gift tip: Give her an entire day off, from breakfast through the kids’ bedtime, to visit a spa, lunch with friends or see movies that aren’t animated.

Recognition: Everybody needs a pat on the back, but we don’t get a performance review. Heck, we don’t even get a “Good job, Singer!” Singer’s gift tip: Give her a holiday bonus: money to spend on just herself along with a homemade certificate of recognition.

Her own space: She shares everything from her mini-van to her lunch to her computer with her kids. Singer’s gift tip: Make a Mom-Only Zone, the one spot in the house where kids are not allowed to park their toy cars or share with Mom.

A night out, sans kids: You simply can’t have a quiet, romantic dinner at home when someone is shouting your name from the potty. Singer’s gift tip: Take her out, alone, to a restaurant that doesn’t provide crayons for coloring on the tablecloth. And yes, flowers are always a nice touch, too.

14 Hours ‘Til Bedtime (Wyatt-MacKenzie) is available online and at bookstores for $12.95. Jen Singer is the creator of www.MommaSaid.net, the Housewife AwardsTM and Please Take My Children to Work Day, held annually in June. She lives in Kinnelon, NJ, with her husband, two sons and a cat who is slowly ruining the sliding screen door.

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